ok. I’m going to address the very personal question that has been haunting me for the past 6 years now.
‘When are you guys having kids?’
And the more frightening question lingers after that in my mind….’do I EVER want kids?’ I don’t really know how to start explaining this forever battle in my mind but I’ll start by saying that I don’t find any fault or see anything wrong with anyone else having kids. Love kids. Love their parents. This is just a personal thing that has absolutely nothing to do with you. It’s me.
here are a few of my random thoughts that might help with my decision:
I think a lot of the pressure I’m feeling is that I’ve been married for almost 6 years and I was 20. And if I were going with the flow I should have 2.5 kids by now. I feel like I’m doing good just by having a dog.
Having a sister who is 13 years older than me, who has always been someone I’ve looked up to, has the best behaved children in the world and are model kids. Honestly I don’t want to be the daughter in the family who has the hellion kids. I can’t live with that complex. 
I’m sure everyone already knows this but I had a miscarriage Dec. 20th, 2006. I was devastated that I was pregnant but by the time I had the miscarriage I was getting used to the fact that I was going to be a mom. The whole situation still boggles me-why did God give me something that I didn’t want just to take it away??? I’ll never understand, but obviously there’s still some issues that I’ve got to release to Jesus. And to the electroshock therapist I’m seeing three times a week.
Another issue is that I look at having kids as life being done. I know most moms would say that isn’t true, but it really is. The focus is not on you and your hopes and dreams anymore. It’s all about your kids. And rightly so. But I’m not ready for that sacrifice of priority. I still want to focus on me and I’m not ready to give that up. And thank goodness I know myself enough that I can see that because I shouldn’t have kids yet if I still feel like I do. Don’t you agree?
So, my thoughts and unknown feelings still linger and that insanely personal question is still floating in the air……waiting on an answer…..
wow, Katey, you really started off with a bang! Glad to know a more personal side of you, though. I totally understand and agree with all of your points. If you still have things you want to do, do them. That’s not selfish. That’s you being smart and not wanting to dump your children off at every possible daycare center for 23 hours out of a day, because you really didn’t want them in the first place (a lot of the metality around here). Good for you! And by the way, I had a miscarriage also-FYI- before Grace. Thanks for sharing!
Well, you’re right about 1 thing for sure in that blog … my kids are the GREATEST!
But, when it’s your time, your kids will be the greatest too. Because you’ll want to spend time with them and play with them and raise them to be good, decent and well behaved. You and Dan will be really fun parents, but also want to teach them while having fun!
We got married when I was 24 and still waited 9 years to have kids. We had so much fun during those 9 years: traveling, baseball games, etc. And really, now that the kids are a little bit older, we can do those things with them. It’s really only a couple of years that you have to wait. And then, they can come with you.
you are a mom!!! you have precious Cooper
katey, you have to be a mom. you and dan would be hysterical!
I’ve seen you get down on the floor and play with Cooper. Just imagine how much fun you’d be as a mom!
it’s not up to you anyways. God knows what you can handle, what your dreams are and the timing of it all. he’s not out to take your life away from you by giving you the curse of children.
i have felt what you’re saying, though.